was in the chemist and I said to the assistant, "What gets rid of coronavirus?" She said, "Ammonia cleaner." I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here!":_:D

2023-03-02 21:04:38

My Wife asked "Do you know someone called Cindy”? "Nope" I replied. "You must know somebody called Cindy”?She asked. "Actually, that's the name of my dog who died ...

2023-03-02 21:04:20

outing

2023-03-02 20:56:59

would,nt

2023-03-02 20:55:59

nosy

2023-03-02 20:54:14

I walking past our local furniture shop during the Boxing Day sales when I noticed a sign advertising "1/3 off all our 3 piece suites!!" I thought "Well that's a 2 piece suite the...

2023-02-28 23:29:45

Wife "Shall we go bowling or stay home?" Me: "I'm sick of putting my fingers in holes that everyone has touched"... Let's go bowling!:_:D:_:D

2023-02-28 23:27:42

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas He said it's the most violent book he's ever read.:_:D

2023-02-28 23:26:30

Get just asked me if I loved her or football the most I said “ open ya legs and I’ll show you “ when she did I nutmegged her:_:D

2023-02-28 23:24:32

I went on a blind date last night. Turns out she was obese! At the end of the night I said "If you wanna see me again just ring this number!" She said "Ooo not many guys give me their...

2023-02-28 23:21:43

Reppoints: 3710 Posts: 15773 Uploads: 0 A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers.&q...

2023-02-28 23:19:33

I met up with an old friend last night. I asked "So what you doing these days?" He replied"I hand out clothes to poor people!" "That's so charitable" I said "...

2023-02-28 22:39:29

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctors, the...

2023-02-28 22:39:16

A nun walks into the Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh, heavy with frustration. “What troubles you, Sister?” asked the Mother Superior. “I thought thi...

2023-02-28 22:37:13

I called my boss this morning and said, "I won't be coming in today, my brother died last night." "How many brothers do you have?" he asked. "6," I replied. "...

2023-02-28 22:36:59

I was in a club on Saturday night when this really ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my arse and said, "Give me your number sexy." I said, "Have you got a pen?" She smiled and s...

2023-02-28 22:35:20

Fifteen years ago, the wife got a tattoo of a unicorn on her tit. Now it looks like a giraffe with a brain tumour.:_:D

2023-02-28 22:35:06

I went to the doctors and asked what was the best exercise to lose weight. The doctor said, "Just shake your head from side to side” I asked him, "How often?" He said, "Whenev...

2023-02-28 22:34:27

Feeling horny, I phoned the wife for some hot phone sex. "Tell me if you're wearing any knickers," I said. "Actually, I'm not." she replied. "Ooh you mucky lit...

2023-02-28 22:32:46

English man, Irish man, and a Scotsman comparing photos of their new born sons, English man says " this is GEORGE, he was born on St. George's day" Scotsman says, " this is Andre...

2023-02-28 22:32:30

kisser:_:D

2023-02-28 22:29:10

thunder

2023-02-28 22:27:20

letters

2023-02-28 22:26:09

[quote=EVILTEEN777] [torrent=15256297]Ty in advance:_love [/quote] Added

2023-02-28 22:22:22

[img]https://i.imgur.com/qL0aImI.jpg[/img]

2023-02-26 22:59:11

I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down... And then the penne dropped!:_:D

2023-02-26 22:59:01

To make it easier to identify my herbs, I've been growing them in alphabetical order. When I showed my friend she said, "How do you find the time?" "Easy," I replied. "...

2023-02-26 22:55:52

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls' getaway trip, shopping, casinos, massages, and facials. Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his foot down and tell...

2023-02-26 22:55:32

maureen

2023-02-26 22:49:31

fatboy:_:D

2023-02-26 22:47:21