The missus and I have both made those lists of 5 people that we're allowed to sleep with if we ever get the opportunity. She's picked Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman, Jeremy Renner, Kiefer Sutherl...
2023-01-24 22:39:02
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is...
2023-01-24 22:37:09
A couple have just had sex. The woman says, "If I got pregnant, what would we call the baby?" The man takes off his condom, ties a knot in it, and flushes it down the toilet. "Well...
2023-01-24 22:34:57
Paddy: Have you heard of MURPHY’S LAW? Mick: No, what’s that? Paddy: If something can go wrong it will go wrong Mick: Have you heard of COLES LAW? Paddy: No what’s that? Mick: thinly slice...
2023-01-24 22:33:28
GERT : I had a dream last night that they were auctioning off cocks, the big ones were going for £20 and the small ones were going for £10 ME : how much for the ones like mine? GERT : They gave th...
2023-01-24 22:33:11
A new supermarket opened in my area. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you pa...
2023-01-16 20:51:23
I was at a job interview today, and the interviewer said, "It says on your CV that you are quick at mental arithmetic. What's seventeen times nineteen?" I immediately said, "Thirt...
2023-01-16 20:51:00
Went for an interview at a Blacksmiths Blacksmith: "Are you any good at shoeing horses?" I said: "No but I once told a Donkey to fuck off":_:D:_:D
2023-01-16 20:48:52
I must be the unluckiest person in the world....? I have just found a wage packet outside Asda...... "The bastards had 4 days off sick"..:_:P
2023-01-16 20:48:29
A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow, "Do you mind if I say a word?" The widow says, "Please do." The man clears his throat and says, "Bargain." The widow replies...
2023-01-16 20:47:03
I was in the pub last night being chatted up by a right ugly bird. "Do you have a nickname"? She asked. " yeah" I said, "my mates call me The Sledge" "Oooh"...
2023-01-16 20:45:41
I was out with my young daughter and ran into a friend I'd not seen in years. "This is Beth." I said, introducing my kid. "And what's Beth short for?" he asked. "...
2023-01-16 20:44:30
Bloody autocorrect strikes again... The other day I sent my best mate a text saying 'Hey Dave, do you fancy coming for a wank along the river?' I mean, how embarrassing...:_:D:_:D
2023-01-16 20:42:01
My son didn't cope well with going to jail. He refused to eat or drink anything. He swore at everyone and covered his room with his own shit... After that we never played Monopoly again!:_:D:_:...
2023-01-16 20:41:38
A blind man stood by the station every day selling matches for 20p from a tray. A man used to come out of the station each morning and put 20p on the tray but never used to take the matches. One morni...
2023-01-16 20:37:52
I went to the doctors today, "Oh dear", he said as he clutched my testicles. "This isn't good!" "What is it doc? What have I got?" I asked all worried. He cleared ...
2023-01-16 20:36:13
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time, "like sitting around in the Motorhome and drinking John Smiths isn't a good thing."...
2023-01-16 20:35:42
I went up to a random ginger lad and asked, "If you had the phone number for 7 girls in one pocket and 8 in the other, what would you have?" He said, "I'd have 15 girls phone numb...
2023-01-16 20:33:08
I went to the chip shop and asked for a jumbo sausage. The bloke said "it won't be long" I said "it fucking better be!":_:D
2023-01-16 20:28:50
[quote=atomicfusion] hey guys got another 180gb pack if anyone can add it to a seedbox to help seed :) thank you! link below: https://torrentgalaxy.to/torrent/15168918/Marvel-Cinematic-Universe-Phas...
2022-12-30 09:51:31
I've taken all the decorations down, thrown the tree in the garden, finished off the last of the Christmas food and drunk all the booze... Better leave this house quickly before the owner gets h...
2022-12-29 22:12:48
Purchased a deodorant stick today. Instructions say "remove cap & push up bottom" I can hardly walk but when I fart the room smells lovely.:_:D
2022-12-29 22:12:32
"What did you do today?" asked my wife. "I beat the children" I replied. "WHAT! Why the hell did you do that?" she shouted. "At a game" I explained. "O...
2022-12-29 22:10:08
My son plays for a football team called the Musketeers... They've started the season well with three wins and a draw... All 4-1 and one 4-all...:_:D:_:D
2022-12-29 22:08:37
My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a £10 note. Our total was £9.25, so I also handed her 25p. She said. "You gave me too much money."...
2022-12-29 22:05:30
The Wife just said to me she is going to give up smoking. So to see if she is telling the truth. I've gone to work and left the gas on...:_:D:_:D
2022-12-29 22:05:04
aiaaiors
2022-12-29 22:00:48
nouses
2022-12-29 21:57:25
[quote=EVILTEEN777] HI [user=GodAndUlster] Is this one stll in your box?: [torrent=15147781] [url]https://torrentgalaxy.to/torrent/15147781/Mythbusters-Season-4-Complete--2006---EVILTEEN777-[/url] ...
2022-12-28 22:56:27
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