My wife is doing an experiment. She's wearing a Derby county shirt for a week to get peoples reactions. She's been kicked, punched and spat on so far! Fuck knows what's going to happen ...

2022-11-17 21:48:55

I've just poured super glue into a non stick pan, Someone's going to be wrong:_:D:_:D

2022-11-17 21:47:10

Some men think that using a moisturiser after you've had a shave is a bit gay. I don't, I just think it makes my legs lovely and soft!:_:D:_:D

2022-11-17 21:46:57

My wife is throwing me out because of my Only Fools and Horses obsession... I'd better fetch the suitcase from the van!:_:D

2022-11-17 21:44:30

As I sat in the living room my five year old shouted at me from the back door. "I can't hear you if you're shouting from outside." I said. Again, he shouted back. "I told y...

2022-11-17 21:44:13

qiter

2022-11-17 21:41:57

Inured

2022-11-17 21:40:58

qasavara

2022-11-17 21:39:38

onto

2022-11-17 20:46:59

glue

2022-11-17 20:45:58

opsonifies

2022-11-17 20:45:09

I parked in a hospital car park. Attendant came up and said "This is for badge holders only". I said "but I have got a bad shoulder!":_:D:_:D

2022-11-16 22:32:24

My wife is doing an experiment. She's wearing a Derby county shirt for a week to get peoples reactions. She's been kicked, punched and spat on so far! Fuck knows what's going to happen ...

2022-11-16 22:30:10

Have you ever wondered what Chinese people do when the sun hits their eyes?:_:D[justify][/justify]

2022-11-16 22:29:21

I've just poured super glue into a non stick pan, Someone's going to be wrong:_:D[justify][/justify]

2022-11-16 22:29:02

nest

2022-11-16 22:24:40

qhubeka

2022-11-16 22:23:08

notes

2022-11-16 22:20:32

A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting “The end of the world is nigh!" I think it was Farmer Geddon.:_:D

2022-11-15 21:31:37

I told my mum I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'I'll give you an audition but I'm not promising anything.':_:D:_:D

2022-11-15 21:31:08

I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said "You remind me of my little toe!" She said "Is that because I’m small and cute?" I replied "No, it's because...

2022-11-15 21:28:45

I see someone is selling their dogging gear on EBAY, There's no bidders, but there's 125 watchers:_:D:_:D

2022-11-15 21:28:30

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on hi...

2022-11-15 21:26:58

My wife said to me that if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it. So I got her a candle.:_:D:_:D

2022-11-15 21:26:42

listen

2022-11-15 21:22:20

mouth

2022-11-15 21:20:49

jet

2022-11-15 21:20:00

into

2022-11-15 00:16:26

loud

2022-11-15 00:13:20

kisser

2022-11-15 00:12:04