GodAndUlster        Posted at 2022-07-07 00:11:32(115Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-07 00:11:43(115Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-07 00:12:39(115Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-07 00:12:51(115Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-07 00:13:33(115Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:46:19(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A family decided to try a nudist camping resort for a cheap vacation: On their first day there their young son went off to explore the site. Some time later he came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls." "They've got these HUGE..." "Yes, well." His mother snaps. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman." Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "Mom, You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there." "They have these HUGE..." "Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man." Says his mother. "Really?" The boy said, frowning and looking puzzled. "Well it looks like we might be in trouble then, Mom." "Why, honey?" Asks his mom. "Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute." 🤣  | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:46:35(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| the wife just bought me the new U2 sat nav, but I've had to take it back though, because, The streets have no names, and I've still not found what I'm looking for! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:48:26(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| The waitress said, “are you ready to order?” “My wife is in the ladies, “ I said “Do you know what she’s having?” “Well she’s been gone 10 minutes so probably a shit.” | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:49:26(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A man is going down on a woman and gets a piece of carrot on his tongue he asks the woman are you sick and she says no but the guy before you was | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:50:23(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| What's the difference between a fridge and a fanny? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:51:27(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My wife's been in a coma for 2 weeks & doctors have told me to expect the worst. So I've got all of her clothes back from the charity shop. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:51:39(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My ex girlfriends pussy is like a battery. It's only afterwards you think "why the fuck did I lick that". | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:52:48(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My parents admitted that the night I was concieved they were pissed on cheap Australian lager. Not nice finding out you're a Fosters child. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:58:53(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a £10 note. Our total was £9.25, so I also handed her 25p. She said. "You gave me too much money." I said. "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25p, and said. "We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing." The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75p in change. Do not confuse the people at McDonald's !!! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:59:26(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 22:59:39(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 23:00:41(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-10 23:00:52(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-11 23:36:23(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| An old man lies on his death bed. He smells cooking from the kitchen by his wife of 50 years. He crawls to her, hauls himself up and grabs for a warm cookie. His wife turns round and smacks him on the knuckles with a wooden spoon. "Fuck off they’re for your funeral!" she shouted. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-11 23:36:42(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| At the disco last night. They played Twist. I did the twist. They played Jump. I jumped. They played Come on Eileen...That's when I got kicked out. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-11 23:37:42(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My Grandfather started walking 5 miles a day when he was 62. He's 91 now and we've not a clue where the fuck he is, | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-11 23:37:59(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I came out of Morrisons this afternoon and there was a woman crying her eyes out, she'd lost all her holiday money. I felt so sorry for her I gave her £50. I don't usually do that kind of thing but I'd just found £2000 in the carpark. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-12 12:43:54(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I got kidnapped the other day and thought to myself: "Being kidnapped is so easy, I can do it with both hands tied behind my back"! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-12 12:45:46(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My friend Ena is such a happy lady... Every time we meet and i say Hi Ena she laughs her head off.... | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-07-12 12:48:04(114Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| An old man lies on his death bed. He smells cooking from the kitchen by his wife of 50 years. He crawls to her, hauls himself up and grabs for a warm cookie. His wife turns round and smacks him on the knuckles with a wooden spoon. "Fuck off they’re for your funeral!" she shouted. | |
Like 0 | ||