jaxe        Posted at 2022-03-05 09:33:25(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A friend and her brother I both known since junior grade. He is in a wheelchair every since a car crash 4 years ago disabled him and he could no longer work. He move back home to live with his mom and she died 2 years ago from cancer. So he has been living in her house by himself. She is married so she can't move back to be with him and there is no room at her house for him. She goes to see him on Saturday and Sunday to take him to get groceries or to restaurants. On days he needs to go to doctor or the government office, she takes day off from work to take him. Yesterday morning she calls me from work and said she hadn't heard from him for 12 hours and his phone goes to voice mail. I told her he is probably just sleeping. But why don't you can his neighbor and have them go by there. She said I am sure you are right, I go by after work. I don't hear from her for the rest of the day and around 6 pm I send her a text asking is everything alright with your brother. She replies 20 minutes later, can't talk right now. He is gone. He shot and killed himself. I answered WHAT? I am very very sorry. I haven't heard from her again. What do I do? I never had anyone I know die. Do I call her? Do I wait? Do I send her flowers? Last edited by jaxe on 2022-03-05 09:41:52 | |
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| MafketelPosted at 2022-03-05 09:50:06(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Sorry to hear this.. But why send her flowers? She is married to someone else. You could send the flowers to the funeral home instead... To honor him cos he passed away, to remember him... His live ended and she'll live on. | |
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| CsabaxbPosted at 2022-03-05 10:18:19(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| go to funeral with flowers, give her a hug | |
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| jaxePosted at 2022-03-05 10:38:04(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Is it improper right now to ask her when and where the funeral at? I live 900 miles away. Will need to know in advance to get plane tickets etc | |
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| avianaPosted at 2022-03-05 10:40:31(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| That is very sad jaxe, so sorry for the loss of your friend & in such tragic circumstances !! Yes why not call her again in a few days & ask how she's coping maybe she needs some help. | |
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| jaxePosted at 2022-03-05 10:46:08(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Thank you all for your kind words. | |
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| Ange1Posted at 2022-03-05 10:52:05(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| So sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your friend :( it must be so difficult for your friends Sister losing someone in such a tragic way maybe send a text just to let her know that thoughts and prayers are with her and that you understand she may not want to talk and needs some time but you are there if she ever needs a chat so much must be going through her mind at the moment bless her  | |
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| MadWatchdogPosted at 2022-03-05 11:51:55(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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|  Our deepest sympathy,May loving memories ease your loss and bring you comfort and peace jaxe | |
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| MafketelPosted at 2022-03-05 12:04:40(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| No it's not. Does he have any family you can contact? Or is she arranging the funeral? But besides that it's not inappropriate to ask especially if you have to plan your trip in advance. | |
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| bigboy12Posted at 2022-03-05 12:14:27(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Am truly saddened by your loss jaxe such times are always difficult to deal with.With suggestions offered to help you will know what to do. just follow your heart in your decision. Again I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless . | |
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| SuperbikemikePosted at 2022-03-05 12:58:13(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Sorry about that jax, yeah send flowers , its always sad when its someone you know that falls through the cracks.. loneliness and pain can be a real btch i can understand where his head was at ..  Last edited by Superbikemike on 2022-03-05 12:59:25 | |
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| jaxePosted at 2022-03-05 14:04:15(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Thank you again everyone. His sister is the only family he had left after their mother passed away. I know she is arranging the funeral. She did everything when their mother died: her funeral, getting all of their mom's assets and affairs and home transfer over to her and her brother and so on. I remember that because it took a year of lawyers and going to court to get everything that was in her name to her and her brother's name. | |
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| Mclass55Posted at 2022-03-05 16:05:56(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I am so sorry for what you and your dear friend are going through ❤️ I would send flowers, and ask what can I do to help... You both need support right now. God Bless you 🙏🏻 ❤️ 🙏🏻 | |
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| jaxePosted at 2022-03-05 16:25:55(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Thank you Mclass55 and everyone. Feeling real down today. Getting a throbbing headache thinking about it. Barely ate my breakfast. I call her an hour ago to see if there is anything she needs or that I can do, she didn't answer. Left her a voice mail. | |
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| sherbPosted at 2022-03-05 16:29:44(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Sorry to hear such sad news Jaxe. | |
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| ThalestrisPosted at 2022-03-05 17:19:00(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Hi jaxe I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a friend like this is the worst. Reading you, I feel that you were still close after all that time, because she has called you telling you that she was worried about her brother. So she sees you as an old and close friend, doesn't she ? knowing that, you are the one to know what to do now. Nobody else. What's your heart is telling you ? What do you feel like doing ? Be there for her for real or buy flowers ? I'm sorry I wished that I could help more but only you know how close you are with her and what's the best thing to do next. | |
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| jaxePosted at 2022-03-06 10:23:50(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Thank you, all. | |
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| ba567Posted at 2022-03-07 07:30:25(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| sorry for your loss but I do know your pain and that sucks   | |
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| jaxePosted at 2022-03-08 09:20:12(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Gotta flight out Friday for Saturday services. | |
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| MafketelPosted at 2022-03-08 09:35:31(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| good to hear it's sorted | |
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| jaxePosted at 2022-03-08 09:48:51(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| She text me yesterday afternoon "At my brother's house. Going through his things. Considering selling the house" I cannot even imagine doing that. Going through the belonging of your dead brother. What do yo do with it? Throw it out? How about things that are in his name like bank account, cell phone, utilities, insurance. how do you take care of that? Call them and say my brother died, cancel/close them? Also selling the house that once belong to your Mom that you and your brother were born and grew up in: that's hard to do. | |
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| CsabaxbPosted at 2022-03-08 11:06:13(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Sorry to say jaxe but not an issue. After my parents died and remain solo, i sale the parents house where i born and live 60 years, stop all contracts, gas, electricity, internet, news papers and move in another, smaller house, that's the life jaxe | |
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| bigboy12Posted at 2022-03-08 12:52:33(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I've been there jaxe , though it's hard to do it does all fall into place in a strange way. Am glad you will be there for the services.  | |
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| GarthockPosted at 2022-03-08 12:58:45(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My deepest sympathy's Jaxe. While I knw that nothing we say can change what has happened, remember that your family here will stay in support of you as long as you need us. You are absolutely in our thoughts. | |
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| Ange1Posted at 2022-03-09 04:46:51(143Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| so happy you managed to get flight for the service :) i know you being there and supporting her will mean a lot :) very sad when you have to sell the house but altho sad memories there will be so many happy memories that she has taken already with her in her own home. | |
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