bigboy12  Posted at 2019-05-24 23:56:37(284Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Maybe both..:-):-):-):-) | |
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Post liked by - LizardQueen    , DittoHead   , DarkMage , MissKitti, Superbikemike | ||
| SuperbikemikePosted at 2019-05-26 22:59:26(284Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| kornboltPosted at 2019-05-27 00:10:13(284Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"  Spoiler | |
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| SuperbikemikePosted at 2019-05-29 19:31:09(283Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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LRS Posted at 2019-05-29 19:49:42(283Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| SuperbikemikePosted at 2019-06-01 17:05:38(283Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| MissKittiPosted at 2019-06-05 00:11:40(282Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| eating her curds & whey.... along came a spider, and sat down beside her.... and she said  Off Hairy Legs... this is mine! | |
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| SuperbikemikePosted at 2019-06-05 17:44:10(282Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| bigboy12Posted at 2019-06-09 23:23:32(282Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| B4ND1T69Posted at 2019-06-17 17:49:23(281Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| N.A.S.A. has just announced that it is returning to The Moon and a Woman will be going along... Let`s just hope it`s the right time of the month eh...?:-)8o:-* Is that a Lunar joke or not...?...you be the judge:o) | |
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| SuperbikemikePosted at 2019-06-17 18:55:06(281Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| btmrxPosted at 2019-06-17 19:23:07(281Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in? first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. Why do men die before their wives? They want to. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. | |
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| btmrxPosted at 2019-06-18 16:29:28(280Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| What do yo tell a woman with two black eyes? Answer | |
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| btmrxPosted at 2019-06-18 18:51:27(280Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| What do with your wife when she turns forty? Answer | |
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| kornboltPosted at 2019-06-20 09:31:11(280Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself." | |
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| SuperbikemikePosted at 2019-06-20 20:07:14(280Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| jaxePosted at 2024-03-18 22:21:40(33Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having. All these years? Well, they're gone!' 'No more headaches??' the husband asks, 'What happened?' His wife replies, 'Margie referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, 'I do not have a headache' 'I do not have a headache' ' I do not have a headache.' Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone.' "That's wonderful!' proclaims the husband. His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that? ' A little less enthused, the husband agrees to try it and goes a few days later. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife, and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.' He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, 'WOW! - that was wonderful!' The husband says, 'Don't move! I will be right back.' He goes back into the bathroom, comes back, and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up, and her head is spinning. 'OH MY GOD!!' She proclaims. Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.' With that, he goes back into the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying. 'She's not my wife' 'She's not my wife' 'She's not my wife' . 'She's not my wife.' His funeral service will be held on Saturday. | |
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| ba567Posted at 2024-03-18 23:25:56(33Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| What do women and tornadoes have in common,there's a lot of sucking and blowing then you lose your house | |
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| jaxePosted at 2024-03-22 07:18:35(32Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?" His friend answered, "Sixteen... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer." | |
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| jaxePosted at 2024-04-22 06:49:17(28Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." "Well," said the big gator, "what have you been eating?" "Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator. "Hmm.....Well, where do you catch them?" "Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol." "Same here. Hmm.... How do you catch them?" "Well, I crawl up under one of their cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing much left but an asshole with a briefcase..." | |
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