"Cactus" Jack Slade (Kirk Douglas) is the meanest bad man in the west, or so he thinks. When a bank robbery goes awry, he lands in jail facing a hangman's noose. When the corrupt owner of the bank offers him a job, Jack sees a chance to stay alive and get rich in the process. All he has to do is steal a strongbox full of money the banker lent to Mr. Parody Jones (Strother Martin) who needs it to keep his mining operation going. If he defaults on the loan, our "friendly" banker takes over the mine. Ms. Charming Jones (Ann-Margret) comes to town to collect the money and take it back to her father, Parody. To ensure the money makes it back home, Parody has called in a favor from a man who owes him a life debt. Enter Handsome Stranger (Arnold Schwarzenegger). The toughest and strongest hero in the west. As tough as a steel plate but, unfortunately, just as dense. As Charming and Handsome set off on their journey, Jack sets out after them. Using his trusty "Bad Men Of The West" handbook, Jack sets one trap after another only to have each one go awry in true Wile E. Coyote versus The Roadrunner fashion. With Looney Tunes-style sight gags in almost every scene, this movie will have you an
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