GodAndUlster        Posted at 2022-10-05 11:54:44(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-05 21:15:33(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Deaf couple get married and during the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can't see each other using sign language). After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the Wife proposes a solution. "Honey." She signs. "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have Sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left Breast one time. If you don't want to have Sex, reach over and squeeze my right Breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his Wife. "Great idea! Now if you want to have Sex with me, reach over and pull on my Penis one time. And if you don't want to have Sex, reach over and pull on my Penis fifty times."  | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-05 21:15:48(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Deaf couple get married and during the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can't see each other using sign language). After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the Wife proposes a solution. "Honey." She signs. "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have Sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left Breast one time. If you don't want to have Sex, reach over and squeeze my right Breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his Wife. "Great idea! Now if you want to have Sex with me, reach over and pull on my Penis one time. And if you don't want to have Sex, reach over and pull on my Penis fifty times." | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-05 21:18:51(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-05 21:19:04(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-05 21:20:53(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-05 21:21:12(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-06 23:02:54(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A Guy with a 25-inch Willy went to a Doctor and said, "I can't live with this Big Willy anymore..! It's too long." The doctor replied, "I can't do anything for you, but if you see the Witch Doctor, down in the Bayou, she can help you." So, he went to the Bayou and saw the Witch Doctor. The Witch Doctor said, "Go into the Swamp and find a Female Frog. "Ask her to Marry You. She'll say "NO", and you'll lose 5 inches off your Member immediately". So, he went to the Swamp and found the Female Frog and asked her, "Will you marry me"..??? "NO", she said. And right enough, he lost 5 inches off his Member. The Guy liked the results, and thought, 20 inches is still just a little too much. So he asked the Frog again, "Will You Marry Me"..??? The Frog said, "NO". And the Guy lost another 5 inches. He thought, Good, 15 inches is great, but 10 inches would just be perfect. So he asked her again, "Will You Marry Me"..??? And the Frog said, * "How many fucking times do I have to tell you.. NO..! NO..! NO...!" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-06 23:07:32(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-06 23:08:15(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-06 23:09:19(102Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-07 22:02:21(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My daughter said, "Dad, can my boyfriend stay over tonight?" I said, "Can he fuck!" She said, "Like a rabbit!" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-07 22:02:35(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I went to the chiropodist this afternoon and got me cock out She said " that's not a foot" So I said " n o, but it's a good eleven inches " | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-07 22:03:18(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I went to the chiropodist this afternoon and got me cock out She said " that's not a foot" So I said " n o, but it's a good eleven inches " | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-07 22:04:44(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A quick test to see if your a terrorist 1, do you have a beard? 2, does your husband? | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-07 22:05:06(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I was arguing with the wife over the bank statement. "Just look at this", she said, "You spent £50 on Beer" "Well you spent £90 on make up", I replied. "That's so I can look young and beautiful for you", she said. I shouted back, "That's what the fucking beer was for!" [justify][/justify] | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-08 22:09:29(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-08 22:09:39(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-10 21:44:54(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Police are looking for a mugger who threatens his victims with a lit match... They need to catch him before he strikes again... | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-10 21:45:07(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My mate fainted on the London eye It's ok though he's slowly coming round | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-10 21:45:34(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I've named the big spider in my bedroom 'Cotton Eye Joe' coz I need to know 2 things. 1) Where did it come from? 2) Where did it go? | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-10 21:46:08(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Did you know you can tell the sex of an ant by throwing it in water If it sinks it's a girl ant If it floats it's buoyant [justify][/justify] | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-10 21:49:56(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I got a call from the police today that said my wife was in an accident. "Oh no,is she ok?" I asked. "Well,she has two large bumps and a nasty gash",They said. "I know she has,but is she injured ?" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-10 21:50:13(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-10-10 21:50:53(101Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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