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  You Can Share Your Jokes Here,Come On In V3

GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-02 00:55:02(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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coaster:_trusted_uploader::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_kitty::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-02 05:42:56(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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Last edited by coaster on 2022-06-02 05:48:41


 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:04:43(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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A armed man robs a bank with 2 CDs glued to his glasses. The cashier hands the man all the money then says “got to ask, what’s with the CDs?”
He replies “it’s my disk-eyes”:_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:05:09(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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Me and my girlfriend had sex in my car last night and it was pretty uncomfortable...
I wish we'd dropped her parents off first!:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:06:29(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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A man with a clipboard stopped me and asked "Where do you stand on breastfeeding in public?"
I said "At the front, staring at her tits!":_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:06:41(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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I offered to buy a woman a drink in the pub last night, and she told me to,
"Go and fuck myself"....
I replied, "Love, if I could do that, do you really think I'd be wasting money buying you a drink"....?:_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:08:42(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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Walked into my local and I asked the landlady if she knew Bob.
'Bob! Who's that?'
You know Bob, one eye.
'No, sorry, never heard of him'
Yes, Bob, you know, one eye, one ear.
'Nobody like that comes in here'
Yes, he does, one eye, one ear, one tooth.
'For the last time, no one like that called Bob drinks here!!!'
He's here all the time, Bob, with one eye, one ear, one tooth, one arm and one leg.
'Right, get out before I throw you out!
I can't believe you don't know Bob, one eye, one ear, one tooth, one arm, one leg and one strand of hair on his head
'What colour is it?'
Ginger.
'Oh! Ginger Bob, I know him!!.:_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:13:49(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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My wife suggested spicing up our sex life by a bit of roll play.
“I’ll be a prostitute” she said.
“Great idea” I said, “ I’ll be peter Sutcliffe”:_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:14:00(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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When I was a kid my dad used to let me put my pocket money in a special money box under the stairs.
I was 15 before I found out it was the fuckin electric meter:_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:15:37(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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My friend looked at me like I was crazy when I told him I had named my new born baby boy "Samsung"
I thought it had a nice ring to it.:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:16:53(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:17:39(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 11:18:43(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 21:35:26(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 21:36:09(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-03 21:36:23(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-04 20:48:07(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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Paddy bought a sleeping bag......
He spent three hours trying to wake it up.....!!!:_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-04 20:48:23(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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I went for a self-defence class last night.
The instructor said, "I want you to take me by surprise and attack me".....
So, when I saw him in Sainsbury's the next day, I threw a tin of beans at his head.......:_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-04 20:49:26(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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"Your dog has been barking for the last 3 fucking hours!" I said to my neighbour this morning. "I've got a serious hangover and I'm trying to get some sleep!"
"It would probably help if you got out of his kennel!" she replied.:_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-04 20:49:43(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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"You can tell a lot about a person by the beer they drink," I said to a bloke at the bar.
"Really?" he replied. "So what can you tell about me?"
"You're a cunt!" I said.
"What makes you say that?" he asked.
I said, "That's my beer you're drinking!":_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-04 20:51:39(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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I asked my wife for a little oral relief last night. She said, "You want me to suck you off"....?
I said, "No. Just shut the fuck up for 5 mins"......!!!:_:D:_:D

 
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-04 20:51:51(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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Post liked by - aviana:_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_female::_sitelover::_junkie::_kitty::_sun::_turtle:
GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-04 20:52:24(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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aviana:_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_female::_sitelover::_junkie::_kitty::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-05 14:21:55(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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GodAndUlster:_vip::_trusted_user::_sitefriend::_male::_sitelover::_junkie::_sun::_turtle:Posted at 2022-06-05 22:22:41(130Wks ago) Report Permalink URL 
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Police have arrested a woman for stealing a sign that read "& Emergency"...
She claims that she found it by Accident!:_:D:_:D