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GodAndUlster        Posted at 2022-04-11 10:28:31(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My wife hated my impulse purchase of a new revolving chair. But then she sat in it... Eventually she came around!  | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-11 10:28:45(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| There once was an Indian who had only one testicle And whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone..' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, Until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird , who was BlueBird's cousin, Was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.' Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, Then he made love to her all day, Made love to her all night, Made love to her all the next day, Made love to her all the next night, but YellowBird wouldn't die! Why ??? OH, come on... Take a guess !!! Think about it !!! You're going to love this !!! Everyone knows.. You can't kill Two Birds With OneStone !!! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-11 10:29:37(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-11 21:22:43(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-11 21:22:57(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-12 20:15:32(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Last night I got my viagra mixed up with my sleeping tablets... I ended up having forty wanks! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-12 20:15:49(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Teacher: Can anyone use the word 'contagious' in a sentence? Billy: My dad's been painting the house all week. It's taking the contagious! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-12 20:16:52(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My wife has been in a coma for a week now and doctor's have told me to prepare for the worst. .. I've been to the charity shop and bought all her clothes back! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-12 20:17:07(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My wife told me how shaving her before sex could be quite a turn on and give for a much smoother experience... She was fucking wrong though, I found her bald head more of a turn off! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-12 20:18:52(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I was arguing with the wife over the bank statement. "Just look at this", she said, "You spent £50 on Beer" "Well you spent £90 on make up", I replied. "That's so I can look young and beautiful for you", she said. I shouted back, "That's what the fucking beer was for!" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-12 20:20:28(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My daughter said," Dad can my boyfriend stay over tonight? I said," can he fuck," She said," like a rabbit... | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-12 20:22:23(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-12 20:22:37(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-12 20:23:06(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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NatalieNY Posted at 2022-04-13 04:55:50(123Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-13 22:58:34(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My wife told me how shaving her before sex could be quite a turn on and give for a much smoother experience... She was fucking wrong though, I found her bald head more of a turn off! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-13 22:58:47(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-13 22:59:16(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-13 23:00:12(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-14 23:41:23(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-14 23:41:54(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-15 21:57:49(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink, when a very large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down: Then he says menacingly. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" I burst into tears. "Come on, man." The biker says. "I didn't think you'd CRY, I can`t stand to see a man crying." I said to him. "This is the worst day of my life, I'm a complete failure. I was late for a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. Ileft my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a poison capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve, then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going!" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-15 22:01:51(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-16 23:33:59(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-04-16 23:34:12(122Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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