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How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships by Nicole LePera EPUB

Most of us view relationships as happening to us rather than with or even because of us. We “fall in love,” allowing ourselves to be swept up in another person’s passion or power. We pick the wrong people over and over again, missing the “red flags” repeatedly, even if we think we know better. When a relationship falls apart or ends, we often blame the other person, believing that they were unwilling or incapable of making us happy.

It’s often difficult to recognize the active role we play in our relationships, including the fact that we may instinctively choose certain people for specific reasons. Many of us “fall in love” with someone not because they’ve awakened our heart’s desire, but rather because that person satisfies unconscious needs we’re not even aware we have. And most of us unconsciously choose to surround ourselves with people who enable us to reenact familiar interpersonal habits and patterns from our earliest relationships.

We often feel powerless in our relationships because we spend most of our time and energy focusing on the things we can’t control: other people. Though you may currently be feeling helpless or hopeless to change your relationships, it’s empowering to realize that you can, in fact, have agency. We all can. We can all find and create healthy and happy relationships. We can all be the love we seek, regardless of what others do or what’s happening around us.

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