Harem of Hearts:
Um. Um. Um. Are you reading this? If you are, I need your help. I was at a party; I was running; I fell. And get this - this is the part you'll never believe - I fell down a rabbit hole. Like Alice in those old books. Except in those books, there wasn't blood everywhere. In those books, the characters weren't all male, attractive, and interested in me.

Forget everything you know about the Mad Hatter, the White Rabbit, the March Hare.... This isn't Wonderland; this is Underland. Violence, sex, drugs, and magic...that's all there is in this place. There's me, Allison, and there are the men that want me, the enemies that hunt me, and the darkness that's quickly rolling in. And only I can stop it.

So if you're reading this, will you help me? Please. I just want to escape this place and go...home.

    Allison and the Torrid Tea Party:
Holy f--king hearts.
Did you just read that?!
If you did, I need your advice.

I met fallen angel princes; I met a Savage Duke; I met a Cheshire Cat. And remember - how could you possibly forget - I'm the fabled Alice from the prophecy. Just a twisted, dark version of the girl in Lewis Carroll's old books.

Except in those books, there was a happy ending. In those books, Alice wasn't dating nine very different, very beautiful men. But now that I've met the King of Hearts and the Mad Hatter, I'm not sure who the real bad guys are.

I'm the only one who can turn Underland back into Wonderland again. But if I have a chance to escape the blood, the death, and the intrigue in this place, should I take it? I'm Allison Liddell, and I've got a choice to make: stay here and fight the darkness, defeat the Anti-Alice, and survive the Torrid Tea Party...or run.

Tweedledee says I can change the world. So if you're listening to this, will you help me decide what I should do? I want to go home, but I can't leave this place as broken as I found it, now can I?

    Allison Shatters the Looking-Glass:
I'm so f--king scared right now. No, not just scared - I'm terrified. And if you're reading this, you should be, too.

I fell through the Looking-Glass; I got back home. But get this: I didn't come alone. Oh, and it doesn't feel like home anymore. Unlike Alice in the original story, this is not my Wonderland.

In the original story, the Walrus and the Carpenter didn't follow Alice back. In that story, she didn't bring her harem of lovers with her to meet Dad. Mom, Dad, meet my nine boyfriends; one of them's a faerie who foretells the future - is that what I'm supposed to say?

Back in Underland, things are even worse. Betrayal, heartbreak, and death...that's all that's waiting for us in Castle Heart. I'm "the Alice", bringer of prophecy, and I'm starting to fall for all nine men in my life.

So, can I stop the chaos that's rolling in on black wings? If you're reading this, can you help me, please? Save the world, get the guys, and give me my happy ending.

Unabridged
Narrated By:Kylie Stewart, Eric Rolon
Format: MP3
Bitrate: 64kbps