What's the difference between a fridge and a vagina? A fridge won't fart when you take your meat out!!:_:D:_:D

2021-11-22 21:49:18

My mate said, "I like your car." I said, "It's not very practical now we've got a baby." He said, "How about I buy it off you?" I said, "Yeah, go on the...

2021-11-22 21:48:30

Just bumped into an old mate of mine today. I said, "What are you doing these days?" He said, "I prepare meals for the homeless, drug addicts, piss heads and down and outs." I s...

2021-11-22 21:48:01

So I booked a table for our mine an my wife's anniversary... Now she tells me she doesn’t even like snooker...:_:D:_:D

2021-11-22 21:47:16

I was given a leaflet the other day on anger management, I fucking lost it!!:_:D:_:D

2021-11-22 21:47:07

One day God was looking down to earth and saw all the evil going on. He decided to send an angel down to earth to check it out. So, he called on a female angel and sent her to earth for a time. When s...

2021-11-21 21:31:19

My mate has a bit of a stammer so I sent him to the shop to buy me some Maltesers. The twat came back with M&M's!:_:D:_:D

2021-11-21 21:30:04

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook... But she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.:_:D:_:D

2021-11-21 21:29:24

Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex."I think my 'member' is too small for my wife's minge" he says.The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, ...

2021-11-20 21:59:39

A oman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woma...

2021-11-20 21:58:25

A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?" The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entir...

2021-11-20 21:57:35

Knock Knock Who's there...? John... John who...? John broke down in tears as his mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse..:_:D:_:D

2021-11-20 21:55:17

My wife said “It’d be nice if one day I came home from work and the housework was done!” I said “Well, get up earlier and do it before you go!”:_:D:_:D

2021-11-20 21:54:40

I've got a couple of Russian pals. One is an Uber driver and is name his Pikup Andropov. The other delivers fizzy pop bottles. His name is Dropabottleof Popoff!:_:D:_:D

2021-11-20 21:54:28

[img]https://i.imgur.com/1QcMDNV.jpg[/img]

2021-11-19 22:27:00

[img]https://i.imgur.com/VHHIZHe.jpg[/img]

2021-11-19 22:26:16

I went back to the doctor today. ...I said, " I aplied the pile cream that you gave me this morning and I got a very nasty reaction, ".....where actually did you apply it? " He asked. ....

2021-11-19 22:25:16

I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise... My boss asked “what companies?“ "Gas, water and electricity." I replied.:_:D:_:D

2021-11-19 22:25:00

I cried myself to sleep every night for ten years until I found out that some one had stuffed my pillow with onions...:_:D:_:D

2021-11-19 22:23:43

Yoko Ono is going into the jungle to advise on bush tucker survival techniques Apparently she has managed to live off a Beatle for 30 years or more:_:D:_:D

2021-11-19 22:22:36

A bloke asked me if he could put a tea bag in my mouth and fill me with water! He must think I'm some sort of mug!!:_:D:_:D:_:D:_:D

2021-11-19 22:22:27

Paddy was on his deathbed and knew the end was near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast. He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a cam...

2021-11-19 22:21:01

My wife called me as I was sat in the pub last night. "I've cooked dinner," she screamed. "And if you’re not home within 20 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog." ...

2021-11-19 22:20:47

We were so poor when I was younger I once had a birthday party at the local launderette because it was bright and warm... The highlight was pass the Persil...:_:D:_:D

2021-11-19 22:19:19

Paddy takes his son to the zoo. When they get to the elephants the zoo keeper said, this elephant can tell how old you are with one look. Paddys son shouts, "how old am I"...? The elephant s...

2021-11-19 22:18:25

An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next Room into sharing it with him... After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the ol...

2021-11-19 22:18:12

I asked the council for permission to have a skip outside my house... They said, "Go ahead fatty you could use the exercise!":_:D:_:D

2021-11-19 15:02:13

'm sick of Christmas already. I work my fingers to the bone every year to earn enough money to buy my kids the expensive presents they want and what happens? That fat fucker with the beard gets ...

2021-11-19 15:02:02

A quick apology to the Take That fans i offended yesterday... Whatever i said Whatever i did I didn't mean it.:_:D:_:D

2021-11-19 15:00:34

A guy is at a urinal in a public restroom when a hunchback walks in and stands next to him. He glances over and sees that the hunchback has a gigantic cock. The guy says, “Man, if I had a cock that...

2021-11-19 15:00:22