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| I just told my Doctor that I'm worried as whenever I go to visit my mother she gets my name wrong. He looked up at me sympathetically and asked, "Is it Alzheimer's?" I said, "No, It's fucking Hughâ What an id ![]() ![]() | |
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| I just told my Doctor that I'm worried as whenever I go to visit my mother she gets my name wrong. He looked up at me sympathetically and asked, "Is it Alzheimer's?" I said, "No, It's fucking Hughâ What an id ![]() ![]() | |
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| I took my wife to subway, today an asked the girl to make me a sandwich, she said yes no problem....... I turned to my wife and said, "Now, how fuckin hard was that"? ![]() ![]() Last edited by GodAndUlster on 2022-03-22 21:44:28 | |
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| My mate was telling me about the Annual Incest competition... He entered his sister! ![]() | |
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| My wife said, "Tell me you love me." I said, "Give me a fucking chance, I'm only on my 8th pint." ![]() ![]() | |
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| I asked my Gert where she wanted me to put the roll of bubble wrap she wanted? She said " just pop it in the corner " Took me 3 fucking hours!! ![]() ![]() | |
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| My gert just asked me if I love football or her the most. I said "open your legs and I'll show you" So I nutmegged her. ![]() ![]() | |
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| I was standing at the bar last night, when someone hit me round the back of the head with a prawn cocktail....... When I turned around he saidâ that's just for startersâ....... ![]() ![]() | |
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B0NE![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
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| Got to love abit of Dead Mans Shoes (2004) ![]() | |
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Post liked by - Mafketel![]() ![]() |
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| My wife says that my penis reminds her of a supermarket. âBecause itâs large, well stocked and always fulfills all your needs?â I asked. âNoâ she said, âbecause itâs Lidlâ. ![]() ![]() ![]() | |
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| A TV company is looking for people from the Derby area to appear in a documentary. They are looking for people with shaved heads, goatee beards, tattoos on knuckles, beer bellies and who can fart/belch at will. Successful app ![]() ![]() | |
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| Two men dressed in armour walk into a hotel reception. One says, "Room for two knights please!" ![]() | |
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| This morning, I saw a sign saying 'Turkey: ÂŁ29' in butcher's shop window. That's ÂŁ300 cheaper than TUI ![]() | |
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| Why did the man with the large penis cross the road? Well, if you must know I just popped out for a pint of milk and a paper! ![]() | |
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| As I sat at the table last night, staring at my G&T, WKD and JD, I suddenly thought to myself, "I fucking hate scrabble." ![]() ![]() | |
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| A fat bird approached me in the pub last night. She said "I'm Anita." I said "Yeah I can tell!" ![]() ![]() | |
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| I bumped into my ex in town today. I asked her how her new boyfriend was. "He's twice the man you'll ever be!" she said with a smug look on her face. "How's your new girlfriend?" "Luckily, she's half the woman you'll ever be, you fat cunt!" ![]() | |
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