GodAndUlster        Posted at 2022-03-10 22:52:48(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-10 22:53:18(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:41:39(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I recently took an aírline to court after my luggage went missing I lost my case!!!  | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:41:51(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Two naked lesbians just broke in to my house and started raping my missus... I tried my best but all I could do was to knock one out.... | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:43:31(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Me: What's the wifi password? Barman: You need to buy a drink first. Me: Okay, I'll have a coke. Barman: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Sure. How much is that? Barman: £3. Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password? Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:43:45(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A bloke just offered me £40,000 a year to work at the brittle bone society, I snapped his fucking hand off | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:45:22(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My wife just asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said, "I would really love a blow job." She said, "Well your dad asked me to find out so I will let him know!" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:45:46(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I took the Ladies UK Darts Champion out last night for a drink. I said, "What do you fancy?" She said, "I'll start with a double!" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:52:32(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My girlfriend said to me, "I know you've been cheating on me with that girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch." I said, "How can you say such a thing?" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:53:29(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My local cinema got robbed of £1000 yesterday... The thieves stole two large popcorns, two large Cokes and a packet of Skittles! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:53:45(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I just asked the missus if she fancied a takeaway tonight? She said, "Are you talking Chinese?" I said, "No, did it sound Chinese?" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 22:55:14(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A scientist has invented a bra that stops tits bobbing up and down and nipples sticking out in the cold. His colleagues have kicked his fucking head in! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 23:21:26(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 23:21:38(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 23:22:45(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 23:23:31(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 23:25:06(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-12 23:25:23(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-13 21:11:47(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| due to the credit crunch i am now shopping in cheaper food outlets.have you tried the korean meatballs from aldi?I'm telling you,they're the dogs bollocks. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-13 21:12:10(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma." | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-13 21:14:51(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I've got some broken puppets for sale, No strings attached!! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-13 21:16:30(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I took my dog to the vet this morning. There's obviously a problem as he's constantly licking his balls. Other than that, he's a very good vet. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-13 21:18:42(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| It’s now got to the stage in my marriage where me and the wife have gone our separate ways and will be spending a considerable amount of time apart for the indefinite future. She’s gone shopping for shoes. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-13 21:19:02(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine & dine her, buy her gifts, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN Arrive naked... with beer. [justify][/justify] | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-13 21:19:40(133Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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