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GodAndUlster        Posted at 2022-03-05 20:13:10(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-05 20:13:21(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-05 20:14:08(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-06 22:59:10(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I went into an electrical shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle?' The bloke said, 'Kenwood?' I said, 'Where is he then?'  | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-06 22:59:26(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| thS1l04h1f4nsfi53lim46d204 · Dad’s advice some years ago; “If you get into a fight in the pub, put a snooker ball in your sock.” Worst advice ever, I could hardly walk! Last edited by GodAndUlster on 2022-03-06 23:00:29 | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-06 23:01:28(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| 10 Years ago I married my best friend... My girlfriend is still really angry about it but me an Dave were drunk an thought it was funny... | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-06 23:02:37(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive... Apparently the response, "Dont worry babe your tits cover it", wasn't the response she was looking for! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-08 14:39:53(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I went to an Indian pharmacy at the end of our road and asked the pharmacist if they sold Benylin. "For cough?" he said. "Alright mate I only asked. There's no need for that!" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-08 15:03:41(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A 12 year old boy goes into the confession box and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned"... The priest replies angrily, "You better not be cheating on me, you little bastard!" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-08 15:03:56(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| The last time something that big hit the planet, the fucking dinosaurs got wiped out. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 21:38:15(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| mental patient is in hospital when a nurse catches him with his willy in between 2 biscuits! "what are you doing?" she asks. "I'm fucking crackers" he says . | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 21:38:32(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Just bought some Viagra tea bags. They don't improve your sex life, but they stop your biscuits going soft. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 21:39:28(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| Just to let you know, I've been admitted to hospital, I ate what I thought was an onion and it turned out to be a daffodil bulb, They said I'll be out in the spring!! [justify][/justify] | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 21:40:30(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink. He replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!' Paddy handed his drink back and said 'Me too, I didnt know we had a choice!' | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 21:41:21(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I was walking down the street and was passing an ugly woman with two screaming kids : "How old are your twins?" I said "The girl is 12 and the boy is 7, why do you think they're twins ya cunt?" she replies. "Because I can't believe someone would fuck you twice!" | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 21:41:56(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I’ve just been house hunting. One place had mirrors covering the walls of every room. I thought, “I can see myself living here!” | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 21:42:34(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her!! Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her. She's a cracker. | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 21:43:06(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I stayed up last night wondering where the sun went Then it dawned on me!! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 22:26:42(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 22:26:58(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 22:28:20(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-09 22:28:35(121Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-10 22:50:46(120Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I stayed up last night wondering where the sun went Then it dawned on me!! | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-10 22:51:01(120Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| I wonder if Michael Jackson looks like he did in thriller yet? | |
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| GodAndUlsterPosted at 2022-03-10 22:51:50(120Wks ago) Report Permalink URL | ||
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| My wife works as a magician's assistant. I think she's picked up a few tricks. I came home from work early and she was in the bedroom. She said, "Abracadabra!" and my mate, Dave, came out of the wardrobe, stark naked. Poor bastard must have wondered what the fuck was going on! [justify][/justify] | |
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